| iTunes is... |
How you let people know the kind of person you are ("You mean you don't have a playlist just for Canadian music?") |
Not installed. You have a two-versions-old Windows Media Player, which can't play any files anyway because of the firewall. And your soundcard is disabled anyway. |
| Installing software... |
Is entirely up to you - there's a pile of copied versions of Photoshop in the MDs office, go help yourself. Some of them might even be paid for. |
Is not your job. Raise a support ticket with Technical Support, who will have to interrupt your work for an hour or so just to install the latest Flash Player. |
| The bathrooms... |
Are next to the showers. They have pot-pourri, designer basins and luxurious towels. |
Are where the strange guy from Finance changes into his cycling gear. The soap is the same kind you had at school. |
| Staff outings... |
Are paid for by the management and usually involve a coach trip and a tuxedo. |
Are paid for by you and usually involve greyhound racing or pizza. |
| The dress code... |
Is non-existent; when you started you had to go out and stock up on 'ironic' t-shirts. |
Is strict; when you started you had to go out and buy some 'proper' shoes and a tie. |
| Desk decoration... |
Is mandatory. Anyone without some form of Star Wars paraphernalia on their desk is viewed with suspicion. |
Is not permitted and may be stolen by the cleaners. |
| Colleagues with blogs... |
i.e. everyone - will routinely blog the office routine. You made the Technorati Top 10 on your first morning. |
What's a blog? |
| Getting around the office... |
Is done by collapsible scooter. |
Is not allowed. You may have a cigarette break at 3. |
| Email forwards from your colleagues... |
Are likely to be the latest blogosphere meme or an article from 37signals. |
Are chain-mails warning of dire consquences should you not pass them on, and viral jokes from 2002. |
| The Christmas Party announcement email... |
Includes a Google Maps microformat mashup and an option to import into iCal. |
Is written in Comic Sans on a patterned background and has animated clip-art from Word. |
| For lunch your colleagues... |
Eat home-made sushi while working on their own web app. In Ruby on Rails. |
Choose between roast beef or chicken curry in the canteen. On Fridays they all go to the pub. |
| The coffee... |
Is freshly ground and roasted in-house. Many Bothans died to bring you this coffee. |
Comes out of a machine in the corner and costs 10¢ per watery cup. |