What are you giving him a balm for? It might bite him!
Alice, our eldest daughter, has won the coveted role of Mary in her pre-school’s nativity production this year. Well, I say ‘won’; personally I don’t think the audition process was particularly rigorous (“who’s blonde and doesn’t cry much?”), but still there is much proud-mothering going on chez Watchmaker. The nearest I came to toddling stardom was playing a shepherd, complete with tea-towel on head and my grandfather’s walking stick; my parents take much delight in reminding me that I spent much of the time chewing the rubber end of my substitute shepherd’s crook.
Personally I want to train our little star to drop a line from ‘Life of Brian’ into the play at a suitable point, or perhaps loudly proclaim “There is no God” or maybe “Allahu Akbar”, but I am told I am not to interfere with our little princess’ moment of glory. Humbug.
No doubt there will be the usual injunctions preventing proud parents from videoing or otherwise capturing the tedium action; because as everyone knows internet paedophiles like nothing more than slavering over shaky footage of toddlers wearing their father’s old dressing gown, picking their noses and singing out-of-tune Christmas carols…
Filed under: Personal.
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